If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize