Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My breath smells like gin and sadness
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
