so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
