Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
