those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize