i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
