She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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