Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
