If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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