Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
