I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
