he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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