i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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