I just made out with a guy for $7.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
