i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it penis luge time yet?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize