I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
