Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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