Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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