I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
