Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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