I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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