There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
