Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
