Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
