i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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