note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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