I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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