Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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