I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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