I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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