just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
