PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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