Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
