Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
