You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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