I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
