i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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