Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
