It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize