so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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