ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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