You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
