i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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