So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
