Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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