Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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