your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
