you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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