There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
