We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
