Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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