I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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