She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she smelled like a LAN party
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
