I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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