He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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