I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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