You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
