there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize