She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize