I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
