We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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